To the World’s Toughest Community. The greatest feeling in the world is when you are physically and emotionally drained, and you still feel like you got more than you gave. Thank you.
“Like the scripture says:
Everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree,
And no one shall make them afraid.
They’ll be safe in the nation we’ve made.
I wanna sit under my own vine and fig tree.
A moment alone in the shade,
At home in this nation we’ve made.
One last time.” – George Washington, Hamilton: The Musical
In May this year, my crazy workout and run exploits finally caught up with me, along with years of sitting at computers with bad posture. I became partially paralyzed while enduring a pain I had never thought imaginable. To fix the issue, I needed emergency surgery to fuse two bones in my neck and remove a disc. Not pretty, but the surgery went relatively smooth due to my kickass surgeon. Cassie Harris flew in to help me through it. Ehsan Farkondeh, Erik Panu, Brianne Kuchera and Adam Nagle (my original Pit Crew person and best friend since 2012) were also present while Heather Heaton and Jared Quance both offered their amazing expertise through a distance. I had an entire community of support to help put me back together.
The next two months were fraught with setbacks, things I never shared with anyone. The pain would come back at very inopportune times while in rehab. I don’t know how many people have experienced nerve pain, but if you haven’t, please keep it that way. Crying in my bed at night seemed completely acceptable. And I developed serious headaches.
Eventually, I made adjustments to my diet and started losing weight at an accelerated rate. My muscles around the neck and back became stronger, and were able to support all of the rehab I was doing. It was doubly important for me to get stronger because Rocky Horror was around the corner. A dozen setbacks from nerve pain led to 13 steps forward in my progress. Eventually, with the help of a focused personal trainer, CJ Nguyen, and waking up at 3:45 every morning to slowly rehab, I was able to declare myself completely ready for Rocky Horror. And Worlds Toughest Mudder.
Rocky Horror was an amazing success. Worlds? It was a partial victory. Life wasn’t going to let me out of 2016 without my declaration of one final emotional “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.” Don’t get me wrong: goals were reached all over the place (a really fun Thursday night event, over $100,000 raised by our beautiful fundraising team and 65 miles, a new PR). Most importantly: My spine wasn’t screaming anymore and my body wasn’t shit-tacular. But my headaches were not going away.
Fast forward. Two weeks after World’s Toughest Mudder, I went to New York City to see what the fuss was all about with Hamilton. It just so happened to be immediately following the show Mike Pence attended. It took me about two songs to really start to warm up to it, as it felt more like a revue than an actual musical.
While I gradually increased my love for the show throughout its progression, “One Last Time” was the point in which I fell for Hamilton. The song speaks to George Washington’s final decision to step away from the Office, which, in historical context, set a precedence for future presidents (oooo alliteration!) to step down after limited amounts of terms.
The lyrics I posted at the top will never leave me. As they were sung from the lips of Nicholas Christopher (the actor who created the illusion he was actually George Washington), something started to click in my mind. The final realization came into being when Christopher sang the following line:
“History has its eyes on you.”
2012. 100% Complete Newbie Contender coming through.
History. Legacy. The words had never been important to me. My job at work has always been focused on innovation, and I’ve always left it up to “historians” to write the life I’ve lived.
I’m ready to bookend my WTM history. And I’m ready to say good bye.
Forgetting about the bastardization of Alexander Hamilton’s actual history in the musical for a second, I would like to at least write down my 5 favorite moments at Worlds Toughest Mudder, one from each year:
2012. Absolutely freezing at 12AM, I duck into a med tent (as they used to be on course those days). “Anyone have anything hot?” I ask as I pass some folks who are struggling under emergency blankets. The medic says “well, we have some freshly boiled soup!” “Thanks,” I said as I grab the cup and pour it on my foot. The look on her face was absolutely priceless. “That was just boiling less than 60 seconds ago,” she said, eyes wide open. I look down at my foot, look back at her, shrug, and run out.
2013. Running at 2AM, I am going at a decent pace, in the middle of my 8th lap, right before Leap of Faith. I hear a set of footsteps coming up right behind me, to which I shout out “Great job, man.” Passing me is Deanna Blegg, hauling ass and smoking my pace with ease. “Thanks,” she said without looking back. “And it’s ‘Lady!'”
2014. Ken Jacobus, the godfather of the Community, had set up his tent next to our first Orphan Tent. When he was taking a break from laps, he was helping us as people came through. Around 11PM, I started to leave for my next lap, noticing that the winds were really picking up. Before I left Tent City, the winds had swelled to hurricane speeds, so I went back to check on the Orphan Tent to make sure that everything was okay. When I got back, I will never forget seeing Ken holding down our canopy and my orange VW Tent, which was massive. “GOOOOOOO!!! JUST GOOOOO!!!!” he yells. It was a scene from a movie; better than Swingers at 4am.
2014 Honorable Mention. My final lap. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t pass on it and decided to run it.
2015. The entire event was a much different one, getting the privilege to run with Team Four Eyes(check them out on CBS Sports!). Late into the evening, we were all exceptionally tired. Kara, our amazing Pit Crew said to us that we weren’t allowed to have alcohol till after the event was over. Kc Hereth, one of our esteemed team members blurts out “DON’T TELL ME… WHAT TO DO WITH MAH LIFE!!!!” While this was one of those moments where you had to be there, it was probably the funniest moment in my WTM history.
2016. Crossing the finish line and seeing Samantha and Karen Mahan smiling. I remembered what it was like to attend Carter’s funeral in 2014, Samantha’s son who passed away 21 months into his life. Seeing her smile triggered my emotions to flood completely out of my soul, a release I’ve needed for years. This release was the beginning of clearing my head, which has led to this eventual decision to say goodbye.
Absolutely amazing memories. They allow me to write my final chapter with a smile as I recite my personal WTM lifetime statistics, if for no other reason than to remind my 60-year-old self what I actually did:
- $150,000 money personally raised in three years for Wounded Warrior and St. Baldrick’s with the help of some incredible donors.
- Organized a team of fundracers who raised over $125,000 in 2016.
- Created deeply personal relationships.
- 3 Thursday night dinners
- Made it possible for 23 people to have experiences at Worlds Toughest Mudder.
- Co-created and co-funded the Orphan Tent with Melissa Dugan.
- Shared way too many laughs with Keith Allen… but not nearly enough.
- I suppose 245 lifetime miles should be on this list.
And now, with one year left, I am setting my 2017 goals upfront, and the actual reason why I’m writing this so early. There is lots of work to do, and I will need the Community’s help to do it:
- There was a time when TMHQ gave an award to the person who raised the most money for charity. None of us who actually raise money ever care about the accolades. But TMHQ needs to reevaluate their removal of this special award and make it important again. There are lots of donors who are completely in awe when I tell them about the event, and the 24 hour experience has motivated some of them to change their lives. This event offers an incredible opportunity for people to fundraise and inspire others, and recognizing fundraisers furthers TMHQ’s mission of recognizing leaders. In my opinion, fundraising is tougher than training for this event. #itsAllBeenFundraising
- The establishment of a Tough Mudder Hall of Fame is something I will continue to fight for. This isn’t something necessarily related to WTM. The Friday night dinner that TMHQ puts on should be the TMHQ Hall of Fame induction event. And I think our first nominee should be Jim Campbell.
- I want one chance to represent my country at Worlds by singing the National Anthem.
- Less organizing and more spending time with the community on Thursday, Friday, and event leadup.
- 75 miles. What the hell, let’s go out with a bang.
I’ll never be too far away from WTM as a concept, but my days of organizing events and training specifically for WTM are coming to a close after 2017. Thank you, WTM Community. I am blessed to always be a part of you.